The Name Change

A lot has been going on. If anyone's still reading this blog, I welcome you back. I'll be doing a lot more updates from now on. Here's what's happening:

My name officially changed to Sean Sakamoto. Now I'm a tall, white guy with a Japanese name. I love it. My new name is like a litmus test. When I introduce myself I get a sneak peek at someone's disposition, based on their reaction.

Most people don't even bat an eye. They just say they're pleased to meet me and that's that. One guy looked me in the eye, peering intently and then slowly shook his head,
"Ah, yes, I see it."
"It's only in your mind," I said.

Other folks will ask, "Are you half?" to which I reply, "Yes. My mom's German and my dad's Dutch." Which gets a confused look before I explain that I took my wife's name.

Women tend to love it that I took my wife's name, and I can see why. Every now and then I'll meet a woman who chose not to take her husband's name on principle. They often ask why I took Noriko's name and I'll explain that I liked the sound, or that I wanted my son to have one last name, or that it felt like a gift I could give my wife, all of which are true.

That makes things a bit awkward, though it shouldn't. There's a big difference between electing to take my partner's name, and doing so out of a sense of tradition, especially when that tradition has common roots with other traditions that limited women's choices.

It's really fun having taken my wife's name. I get credit from people that I like: feminists and liberals, credit which I don't really deserve since I made my choice for personal reasons and it hasn't really required much sacrifice. I get scorn from men sometimes, they'll ask me what my 'maiden name' was, but I got scorn from those fellas long before I became my wife's bitch.

So, anyway, I'm a Sakamoto now. A big, white, Sakamoto, and I'm proud of it.

Comments

[Brennan]

Congrats, you big Sakamoto! I give you credit, because I'm a liberal feminist. That means you must like me!

[Ed Keer]

I read an article recently about a guy in CA who took his wife's last name. He had to spend like a billion dollars in court fees and go through miles of red tape. Obviously, if things has been reversed the change would have been easier. Was that your experience?

[Sean Sakamoto]

I remember that case. There is a time when you fill out your marriage license that you can change your name very easily. California used to only let women do that, but they've since changed that law.

New York would have allowed me, but I chickened out when I got married. So ultimately I did have to hire a lawyer, spend a ton of money, and go through lots of red tape. I'm glad I did it though.

[Polly]

you may be a sakamoto now, but you're still a big bison to me old pal.

[rettic]

So you believe women deserve scorn because they change their name due to "tradition," but you consider yourself superior to them because you "elected" to take your partner's name? Well aren't we superior to all those dumb unenlightened women. Aren't we entitled to look down on them!

First of all, it is only tradition that caused you to take your wife's name because taking a spouses name is purely a custom or tradition that has evolved in certain cultures. You are aware that there are cultures with no such tradition? Second, you took your wife's name out of obvious political correctness. I don't think think that makes you as superior as you seem to think in your smugness. But that's just me. Marriage and marital name change are all traditions, and you are just as "traditional" as the women you scorn and insult when you embrace those traditions. Also the idea that your gender determines whether it is or is not acceptable to change your name at marriage, is also "traditional", isn't it?

[Sean Sakamoto]

Hi there, rettic! Thanks for your many questions, I'll try to answer them.

1. Nope! I don't believe any woman who changes her name due to tradition deserves scorn. I think it's just fine for a woman to take her husband's name. I think it's great, as long as it's a decision that comes from love and she doesn't do it because she feels pressured, or doesn't actually want to.

2. Yes! I am aware that there are cultures with no such tradition, but I don't know much about them? Anything you'd like to share about other cultures would be interesting to me.

3. Just to clear up a misunderstanding...I took my wife's name because I love her. PC was not a consideration.

4. I don't think I'm better than other folks.

5. Yes, I did know that I am very traditional. I took my vows seriously when I got married, and the tradition was quite meaningful to me.

I hope that cleared up any misunderstandings you had. Thanks again for checking in.